She points out that men, er boys actually, in the late twenties and early thirties are basically useless as men. They live in a quasi-child/adult roll partying, loafing, and generally being unproductive. She talks about a "gender gap" where women of the same age have societal value, careers and a life.
What I wonder is why is this a surprise?
These young men are useless because the women in society have made them useless.
That's right - women have made them useless.
Very simply by making "adult sex" a part of the "extended 30-something childhood" she complains men are living in today.
Let me explain.
For the last few hundred thousand years or so women have always had to make the greatest investment in societal progression. The investment I talk about here is not one of money but instead of self, of time and of focus of effort. Once attached to a man a woman was responsible for having and raising the children, for taking care of the man, for advancing their (the family, the couple, the children) social role in society, and much more.
This investment was often the ultimate investment - women literally sacrificing their lives for the betterment of their children and families. (Is this really crazy? I think not...)
And like any shrewd investor women had to make the very best (and wisest) investment that she could given her situation.
And what were they investing in?
Men, of course.
Women (or the woman's family) selected the best men they could to be their spouse. After all, they would spend their lives with that man, so they better pick the best one available. Just like investing in a stock or a bond, women (and/or her family) shrewdly analyzed what was available based on extended family, genetics, appearance, strength, and whatever else to help make the best decision. This choice often, at least before about 50 years ago, involved a strong familial element as well: A father would want to know if the man was good enough? Did he work? Was he reliable. And so on. So the investment often went beyond just a single woman planning a future but involved the progression of the entire family unit.
Would the man be reliable enough to keep the daughter around when the daughters parents got old so they would have a place to live. Even thirty five years ago I remember the fear of meeting the 6' 4" 300 pound father of my future wife - would he kill me on the spot? (Years later I would come to find out that her family knew I was a hard working guy and I would make a good husband - I guess the "kill you on the spot" act was just for show...)
The choice made of a particular investment the woman next set about to "close the deal" as it were.
This might have meant "making the best" of an arranged marriage or might have involved meeting a man through a family connection. But whatever the details it was up to the woman to make it work. And clearly sex and children were part of making it work.
And what was the man to do in this situation?
Like any prize show animal his job was to, well, "show off". To demonstrate how he would be able to make a successful life - whether by showing off dad's previous efforts or his own. Show his strength, his fast car, his daring... Show the woman he was the one for her (hormones I suppose).
And the real driver behind all of this?
Sex. Plain and simple.
No wife, no sex.
Sex, for the man, was the reward for acceptance of the responsibility of adulthood.
And so, as a man, your future sex life was defined by being married. (Sure you could fool around and certainly there were women who would oblige. But over all this was not the focus of society.)
And once there was sex there were mostly likely children, responsibility and all the rest. All the rest of the reasons that a man has to grow up and be a man. And if you as a man didn't look like a good investment opportunity your chances of sex over the long haul were very limited.
But all this changed in the 1960's when feminism cast out the traditional role of woman from society.
Now the role of women and sex is different. There is no investment involved. Woman can have sex as indiscriminately as men.
Whatever you might think about this consider what this has done to the role of being a man.
It has removed the "prize" aspect of
Ms. Hymowitz talks about a movie where twenty-somethings loaf around all day smoking pot, playing video games, and planning to develop a porn site. What's not said, of course, is that foolish women are certainly "hooking up" on the sly with these guys on at least a semi-regular enough basis to keep them lazy, stupid pot-smoking loafers.
If there were no sex involved in their current lazy, stupid lives they would quickly grow up and find a serious relationship.
So my point is simple.
Modern feminism has made men superfluous. Men can find sex without commitment, effort or responsibility - and so they do. And that keeps them stupid and lazy.
Since only women can offer sex to the men it is they who are responsible for the men being foolish, stupid and lazy. Men, as they say, are stupid to begin with and taking away what drives them to overcome this is exactly the wrong thing to do if you want good men.
So, Ms. Hymowitz, things are only going to get worse, not better. In a decade or two your daughter will find that men will still be "adolescent" in late 30's or 40's instead of the 20's and 30's of today.
Men, left to their own woman-less existence, will continue to invent amusements like video games, cell phones and other geek toys, Maxim magazines, porn web sites and the rest to alleviate their need for a strong, solid on-going relationship with a woman.
There still are good men out their - you just cannot find them because you are not looking for the right kind of man nor are you looking in the right kind of place. A serious man that wants a long-term relationship with a woman for the old fashioned reasons I mention above is not going to be readily available for an on-the-sly "hook up" and the local speed dating site or bar.
(He, no doubt stupidly, thinks better of a true woman than that...)
You see there are still good men out their - and its harder for them to find good women - women who want the have children and raise families.
They just know better than to hang out where modern women might find them...